


Rocky Roads

by Forever_Sweet



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Does a deer count as a minor character?, Minor Character Death, minor blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 10:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4057087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Sweet/pseuds/Forever_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper tries to teach Bill to drive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rocky Roads

Dipper tries to teach Bill how to drive.

“Seat belt buckled, seat adjusted, and mirrors where you can see?” 

“Yes! Let’s get this show on the road, Pine Tree!” Dipper rolled his eyes as the overly-excited former dorito bounced in his seat like a kid on a roller coaster.

“Fine, first keep your foot on the break peddle and switch the car into reverse. Look behind you and gently press the gas peddle to back up.” Nodding thoughtfully, Bill followed Dipper’s instructions and while turned around he pressed gently on the gas peddle. 

However, instead of going backwards, the truck inched forwards; and in proper Bill fashion the demon immediately freaked out and floored the gas peddle. The truck jolted forward and promptly slammed into a tree.

**~OwO~**

After Dipper’s head injury was healed and Bill fixed the truck, the demon was back in the driver’s seat. This time the truck faced towards the dirt road so Bill did not have to back up. 

“Now, GENTLY press on the gas peddle to have the car go forward and keep both of your hands on the wheel.” Nervously gripping the handle Dipper waited for the truck to take off speeding, but relaxed when it barely inched forward.

“Bill, you still have to make the car go at least 20.” Bill nodded absently and the truck inched forward a little faster. Bill’s speed was fine with Dipper at first, but after five minutes of going at a snail pace they were still not out of the Mystery Shack’s parking lot.

“Bill, you can press on the gas peddle.”

“I am pressing on it.”

“Barely, just put a little more pressure. We need to at least go the speed limit.” Bill said nothing in return and they continued to inch along.

“This is getting ridiculous, just press on the gas peddle a little more.” 

“I AM PRESSING ON IT!” The demon’s only visible eye flashed red and the truck zoomed forward as Bill pressed hard on the gas peddle. 

Grabbing the handle above his seat, Dipper clung onto dear life as they zoomed down the dirt road. The truck swerving all over the road as Bill barely had any control over the truck at its current speed. While Dipper appreciated that they were going faster, his heart felt like it was going to explode.

“BILL! STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR BEFORE YOU GET US BOTH KILLED!” Promptly following his suggestion, Bill stomped on the break and then panicked as he lost control of the truck. Both were screaming as the truck turned itself in circles and spiraled into the ditch on the side of the road.

When the truck finally came to a stop Dipper scrambled to get his seat belt off with shaking hands. Then he threw himself out of the truck and laid against the ground shaking like a leaf. Distantly over his loud heartbeat he could hear Bill retching on the other side of the truck. 

**~OwO~**

The two of them decided to take a break from the driving lesson for an hour. Eating their lunch in the truck’s flat bed, they both chewed slowly as neither one really wanted to resume the lesson just yet. Finally their lunch came to an end and they reluctantly got back in the truck. 

This time when Bill inched forward Dipper did not complain and let the demon get used to the speed on his own. After a while Bill gained more confidence and the car was finally going 25 down the dirt road. Dipper was beginning to relax again when he notice the deer crossing the road a little further ahead of them.

“Bill you’ll need to slow down and break so we don’t hit the deer.” Smiling confidently, Bill hummed at Dipper and pressed his foot down on the peddle.

On the gas peddle that is. 

The car zoomed forward to the surprise of the two truck inhabitants; the deer, noticing the noise, stopped and looked at them. Dipper swore on his hamster’s grave that he could see the fear and betrayal in the deer’s eyes just before truck rammed into it. 

Blood sprayed all over the front window and Bill fumbled with the windshield wiper controls. The wipers when turned on made tracks of red through the blood and Dipper stared slack jawed as Bill slowed the car down to a stop. 

Swallowing, Dipper turned to Bill and Bill turned towards him with wide eyes. Hands shaking Bill put the car into park and the motor idling was the only sound, wipers still spreading blood everywhere. Clearing his throat, Bill looked nervously at the windshield before turning back to face Dipper.

“It…it could have survived that…?” The uncertainty in Bill’s voice broke Dipper and he doubled over laughing as the demon stared at him wide eyed. Nervously he patted Dipper’s back, unsure if he had finally broken the human’s mind. After a few more giggles through his nose, Dipper finally straightened up and gestured to the front window.

“Do you mind?” Bill shook his head, still in shock over Dipper’s sudden giggling fit, and snapped to clear up all the blood.

“Okay, now do you think you can drive without hitting any more innocent woodland creatures?” The glare Bill leveled at him almost broke Dipper into another fit of giggles as the demon put the car back into drive.

**~OwO~**

For a while they drove in silence and without another incident occurring on the way. They were starting to near town and despite the….minor hiccups along the way, Bill was a pretty good driver. 

“So, we’re about to get into town and you’ll need to keep an eye out for pedestrians.” 

“No problem!” He popped his ‘p’ and although it annoyed Dipper, he was at least glad that Bill had not taken his eye off of the road. In fact the demon seemed to be slowly gaining back the bravado he normally carried, that he had lost when they had hit the first tree. 

Dipper really should not have been surprised by Bill’s actions as another car drove towards them in the other lane. Turning the wheel sharply to the right, the truck zoomed off the road and into the tree line. Bill swerving through the trees to avoid hitting them, and came to a stop after coming to a clearing. The gnomes who had been laying around the clearing stood in shock for a few seconds before scampering off screaming into the woods.

“What the actual hell was that, Bill!?” Instead of looking panicked out of his mind, Bill actually seemed to be glowing with pride as he turned towards Dipper.

“I didn’t hit a single tree, Pine Tree!” Although frazzled by Bill’s sudden decision to take them off the road, he had to admit that it was cool that Bill avoided all the trees.

“And that was incredibly cool,” Bill perked up more, “but why the hell did you get off the road in the first place?” Bill looked at Dipper as if he had grown another head, and in the back of his mind he supposed that growing another head was not all that weird for Gravity Falls.

“There was a car coming towards us, you wouldn’t have liked it if I had hit them. Sheesh, Pine Tree, I didn’t know you actually wanted to hurt people.” The demon said it with such a serious tone that Dipper almost felt bad for laughing at him. Almost.

“For fuck’s sake, Bill! They were in the other lane, the only way you would have hit them is if they had swerved into our lane!” Cheeks coloring red, Bill’s eye lit up in recognition and embarrassment as he looked away from Dipper.

Unable to help himself, Dipper leaned back in his seat and laughed until he could not breathe anymore. Then once he was sure that he would not start laughing every time he saw how red Bill’s face was, he instructed the demon to get back on the road. 

For such a smooth execution getting into the woods, Bill had a hell of a time trying to leave them. Several times the truck got stuck in the mud or Bill got to close to a tree and snapped off the side mirror. So, by the time they had finally gotten back onto the road, Bill was feeling a little moody from how much magic he had used to fix the truck.

With exhaustion rearing its ugly head as he drove, Bill considered asking Dipper if he could drive them instead. A request that would severely damage his pride, but would allow him to rest. After a bit of internal debate he turned to ask Dipper just that, but was cut off by Dipper’s high pitched shriek. Whipping his head back towards the road, he saw the giant semi truck that swung into their lane.

Both of them screamed and in his panic, Bill squeezed his eye shut. There was no impact of them being crushed to smithereens, although there was the impact of the truck hitting water. Opening his eye back up Bill watched in amazement as the truck was swallowed up by the ocean.

Then the panic set in as he scrambled to undo his seat belt. Turning he worked on getting Dipper free from his own seat belt, as the teen had hit his head on the window upon impact with the water. Grabbing Dipper around the middle he used the last of his magic to blast off the driver side door and swam up to the surface.

Gasping for air he pulled the two of them onto the sandy beach and collapsed to his side next to Dipper. Barely keeping his eyes open he went through the steps of CPR that Dipper had taught him a few weeks ago. Breathing a sigh of relief, Bill let himself collapse back in the sand as Dipper turned to his side and choked up water. 

The two of them laid there on the beach as they each tried to get their bearings back. The water lapping at their feet as beach go-ers frolicked around them without a care in the world. Finally, Bill turned over onto his side so that he could better see Dipper, who was staring at the sky with a blank look.

“Pine Tree?” Slowly Dipper turned his gaze away from the sky and settled it on Bill. 

“Yeah, Bill?”

“I think we ended up at a beach.” He said it with such a wisdom filled voice that it was then impossible for Dipper to take him seriously. Laughing he rolled over to face Bill more fully, the demon’s face getting red with anger as the human was not taking him seriously. 

“Boop.” It must have been the several near death experiences that got to his brain or the teen really had suffered brain damage from the crash. Because those were the only explanations Bill could think of that would explain why the forever too serious Dipper had just booped him on the nose. 

Laughing at the bewildered look on Bill’s face, Dipper rolled away from the demon and got to his feet. Brushing as much sand as he could off of himself, he then turned to Bill who had his arms stretched out in a way that reminded Dipper of a toddler.

“Carry me, Pine Tree?” Bill meant it jokingly because he knew Dipper would never say yes, but he hoped that at least the human would help him up. Since Bill doubted he had enough energy to do it by himself at this point. 

So, it came as a complete surprise when Dipper did pick him up, the demon scrambling to get a grip around his shoulders. It was in that moment that Bill relished in how short his human body was as it allowed the much taller Pine Tree to carry him with ease. 

With some minor adjustments Dipper was walking towards one of the beach side ice cream shops. If anything he could at least steal a cone for the former dorito to munch on so he could regain his strength and get them home quicker.

**~OwO~**

As Mabel sat at the counter and waited for customers to come into the Mystery Shack, she wondered how the driving lessons with Bill were going. Earlier when she had went out for a jog she had seen the two of them as they went slower than Waddles after a big meal. 

She was not worried though because she had complete confidence in her brother’s ability to teach. Plus, Bill was like a bijillion years old, so she knew he would catch on in no time.

The bell above the door jingled signaling a customer, Mabel put away her magazine and slapped on her best Mystery Shack smile. “Welcome to the Mystery Shack!” She sang brightly, though her smile dropped in shock when she saw who came through the door.

Dipper, soaking wet and covered in sand, was carrying an equally wet and sandy sleeping Bill in his arms. Her twin’s head was bleeding a little bit and he looked like he had just walked through hell.

“Dippersauce, what happened to you?!” She exclaimed in a whisper yell as she went around the counter to get a better look at her twin. Other than the small trickle of blood, Dipper seemed to fine everywhere else that she could see. 

“Bill teleported us into the ocean somewhere in Florida.” He shrugged it off as a daily occurrence and readjusted his grip on Bill.

“Sweet Waddles, that’s insane! Are you both alright???”

“I almost drowned and the truck is lost forever, but we’re both alive. Bill just used too much magic today and is sleeping it off.” He shrugged carefully and then refocused his attention on Mabel. 

Mabel, who was suddenly looking too giddy and smug. The look that meant Mabel was up to something that would likely get on his nerves.

“Scrap-bookitunity!“ She exclaimed and pulled a camera from her sweater pocket, snapping a picture of Dipper and Bill. Dipper groaned and considered dropping Bill, but kept a hold of him since there was no point in upsetting the demon after the fact.

"So when’s the next lesson, bro-bro?”

“Whenever Grunkle Stan wants to go out and teach him. Because you’ll have to torture me before I’ll ever get in a car with Bill driving again.”


End file.
